How did the river turn yellow?
Well, its a long story but to make it short, it is yellow because of a secret ingredient known only to the best asian chefs in the world. This ingredient is placed in meals for their special caucasion guests when they piss off the cook. Does this answer your question?

Where does the Yellow River originate?
Well, its a long story but to make it short, see answer to the first question.

How long is Yellow River?
It is longer than a bread box but shorter than a comet trail.

Is it true that Yellow River is a dangerous place to hangout?
Well actually, it is only dangerous for those who are pinheads. If they stay there too long it is almost assured that their brains will gush out of their ears. You have been warned.

What is the best meal to eat while at Yellow River?
Anything without steaming yellow liquid should be ok. A medium Hawaiian style pizza with strawberry soda and a bunch of those little yellow chili peppers is what I recommend. This works pretty much anywhere.

Is swimming allowed in Yellow River?
You bet. Your visit would not be complete if you didn't take a dip and leave a little bit of yourself behind for us to remember you by.

What type of animals live in the area surrounding Yellow River?
The only animals that have been able to survive are the super human planet of the ape monkeys. This is because of the glut of human bananas and coconuts which become stuck at Yellow River while in search of their identity. Delicious.

If Yellow River were a planet, which one would it be?
For some it would be the earth because it is something you see everyday. For others it is uranus because it is so hard to see, especially when you have your head up your ass.

Are there lakes at Yellow River?
No. That's why it's called Yellow River and not Yellow Lake!

What is the meaning of life at Yellow River?
What can I say? You'll just have to ask the nude acrobat when you get there.

E-mail us your questions or comments today!

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Ground Zero Productions, 1996